Thursday, September 21, 2017

Am I Fighting A Lost Battle?

Aunty Amara good day, I need your help. I met my man at a school where we were teaching. He later got admission to study in a University in 2015. I applied for University last year too but I wasn't favour, I applied for another school, I told him about it and he said he is okay with it.
The problem started on a certain Sunday when I called him, another lady picked his call and told me he wasn't around. Before I could ask further questions, she sighed and switched off the phone.
Later when I called back, my guy picked it and told me it was a female friend of his that came around. I didn't believe him because my instinct told me he was lying.I exploded out of anger.
He later confessed to me that it was a lady that was living with them that picked the call (she is very beautiful and friendly), that he lied to me to know if I really trusted him. I calmed down a bit and asked for his forgiveness, he forgave me after few days.
But honestly since then I haven't been able to trust him. Recently, I noticed he comes online immediately the girl comes online. He doesn't reply my messages for hours even when he is online, he said they come very late.
He has never commented on my pictures and update but he always comment on her. I keep asking him if he has feelings for her but he always keeps quiet, ignores me or gets angry when I bring up the topic...
I don't understand him anymore. I told him on Friday that I was tired of fighting a lost battle, that I was going to stay on my own henceforth, he kept quiet but called me the next day and sounded jovial.
He is God fearing and good but I fear that maybe he loves that girl but he doesn't want to tell me. When I asked him who I was to him, he said that I am his friend.
Last night while we were chatting, I noticed he sounded distant, like his mind wasn't there. When I asked, he said he was listening to radio. I noticed that the girl was online. I knew they were chatting perhaps, I teased him that both of them will make a great couple, he said that I am right, that he will think about it... Before I could say anythng again, he told me goodnight, that my intuition worked, that I may become a prophetess one day.
I'm confused, I don't know what to do? I have no one else to confide in, he has been my best friend and boyfriend.
I sent messages to his phone yet he rarely replies, he either says they came late or that he has no airtime he rarely replies. When I tell him, my instinct keeps telling me he loves that girl, and that something is going on between them, he will get irritated and switch off his phone.
I don't know what to make of his new behavior. My heart keeps telling me that he loves her more than he loves me, that he is managing me till he gets her. I'm totally confused.
I don't even know if the girl is related to him or not, he has been careful enough not to let me find out. I want to be with him but it seems I will keep doubting his love for me since he wasn't being honest about his feeling.
When I jokingly call him names like idiot, anuofia (bush animal) he gets angry but the girl calls him names and he laughs over it.
He keeps saying that I am his true bae and that the lady is like a younger sister..
He may be active on Facebook and still keep my messages hanging for hours or days. What should I do please?
Yesterday I asked him if he wanted us to be just friends, he said that's the best to save himself frm anger. I don't know what to do.
I will really appreciate your advice. Please do well to point out my errors and correct.... I love and care about him so much, I think he feels the same way but it seems there is something he isn't telling me. Thank you so much. I await your reply ma'am.

What he's not telling you is that he's no longer interested in the relationship. The second thing he's not saying is that you are a nuisance to his life. The third thing he's not saying is that he has moved on with the other lady. 
These statements are littered in his attitude to you, and it is very obvious that you are the one chasing him and begging for his attention. 
My advice is simple, love yourself so much that you don't need to compare yourself with another lady because of a man. Also know when to take the bold step and walk away from a pity-party tagged relationship. 
You deserve better and the earlier you liberate yourself, the healthier for your life.

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