Friday, January 19, 2018

Sexual Intimacy with Him Terrifies Me!

Good morning ma, I have come again ooo
Please I need someone to talk to...
My man (35 years) came to meet my parents Dec 2016 in order to marry me, but my dad said I must finish schooling and serving before marriage.
He also went to the man's place, and seeing how tattered their house was,
he left in anger and came back to say that that man can't marry his daughter.
Ma, I'm twenty years now and in my final year now hoping to graduate by July. The thing is every time we have sex, I'm always disturbed cos I don't want to be pregnant before marriage (my elder sister is a single mother and the other one is late). But he keeps praying that I get pregnant for him which I think this is not the best time for cos his account balance is low and he plans on renovating the house but he keeps saying he can take care of me.
I live alone, off-campus, and he visited me recently and I was on my fertile days. I'm really scared and don't know what to do. I love him and want to bear his children.
Besides my menstruation is not regular, and sometimes I feel like I better start trying now. But I want my dignity...

I wish you could learn a thing or two from your sister's life experiences, but I quite understand how you feel about him, and how much you love him. 
Remember that the feel of 'I love you and want to marry you' doesn't always feel the same when you 'accidentally' get pregnant for him. 
That is when the reality of his low account balance, poor planning, and poor accommodation will dawn on you. That is when you will appreciate the concerns of your father about him and why he wants the best for you. 
It is always advisable for a lady to be financially prepared/responsible before getting married or getting pregnant, this will help you meet your basic needs and responsibilities for your baby, and to avoid unnecessary stress that comes with having a new baby. 
If you genuinely want to preserve your dignity, the best approach is to abstain from sexual intercourse, but if you can't abstain, then it is advisable to have condom for your own good. 
Do not put yourself in a position where you will need to beg others to take care of your needs. Channel this energy you have for your relationship to self development and financial empowerment. 
And please consider the opinion of your father, because a man who doesn't have a constant source of income may end up heaping so many responsibilities on you.
There is more to love than what you feel for a man. 


  1. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating spouse, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my spouse.He hacked my spouse Gmail and Facebook account and linked all my spouse WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you to Mr James for helping me get evidence against him,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him Mr James ( via Email.


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