Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Marriage: I Want to Run before He Kills Me!

Good evening Aunty Amara, please I need your advice and it is very vital.
I am 35 years old, married with two kids (two boys), my first is 2 years old four months while the other one is seven months.
Since I got married to my husband, I have not had peace because he has revealed his true self: he drinks excessively, keeps late nite, smokes, takes hard drugs like codeine and all, he also womanise.
My dad never approved of the marriage, I just married him out of the stress I was passing through at home because of my step mum, never knew things will turn out this way.
He beats me and he has threatened on several occasions that he is going to kill me, and nobody will hold him cause my dad never approved. Mind you, he has two kids outside before we got married according to him, and his family said that the girl refused to marry him because he was not working, but I never knew it was because of his deadly character.
I have reported him severally to his brother and sister, no changes rather they are supporting him.
I am tired of the marriage, I want to run away with my kids before he kills me. He has not paid my dowry because I was pregnant when we wedded. This is my second child now, they are not talking about paying my dowry still.
The worst is that I don't have anything doing presently, he didn't allow me do any and I have not collected my BSc,  he refused to help me and I don't have anybody to assist me, and now my mum is old, she is not stable financially.
Please Aunty Amara, advice me on what to do cos I am living in bondage.
Note: His family is well to do, they are even planning to send him abroad but they refused to help me get my result, is just my final sch fees that is holding it now. I believe if I leave I will be able to hustle take care of my kids and collect my result.
Thank you ma.

No matter how much you may love an individual, if your life and safety is threatened, if there is any attempt or deliberate intention to physically or emotionally harm you or to terminate your life, the first and the best decision is to seek safety using every means available to you. 
There is no need trying to give excuses when you can take responsibility for your choice. You married him because you love him, and you accepted him because he felt good for you, and his family was possibly comfortable/rich, so you saw protection and wealth all around him. 
Now, you have learnt in a painful way that what surrounds a man maybe lacking in his heart, because it takes a rich heart to be responsible, not a rich pocket. 
Since you have already made out your plans and schedule, I will suggest that you follow them through, and prepare yourself for life with your children. 
However both of you wish to cater for the need of your children will be left for you and him, but choosing to endure abusive, toxic, and emotionally unhealthy marriage may take your own life. 
Your peace of mind and happiness is more important than romance and abusive marriage, and whoever threatens your life is not worth being close to you.

1 comment:

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