Sunday, August 26, 2018

Joblessness and Marriage

Good evening aunt Amara, how does one choose between happiness and their future..
I met this gentleman three years ago. God, he is such a God fearing man with everything I want and prayed for in a man.. I believe that he is a blessing from God.. We have been courting all these years, he quit his job and went full time in ministry
and had no money at all he is staying with his mother.. Bear in mind, I am currently studying and also doing business with him that does not pay much to sustain us..
He wants us to get married this year by faith and stay in his home, in the meantime his parents will help us and also with my studies..
Mama, I fear for my future as much as I trust God, but at the same time I don't want to lose a lifetime of happiness and godly marriage. By the way I am 22 years old and he's 30 years old.

My Dear Young Woman,
Let me tell you exactly what I would tell my daughter. 
Before you think of marriage, make sure you have a job. You as the woman must be capable of helping your husband out if the need arises tomorrow. Start thinking of graduating and getting a job. 

As for your boyfriend/fiancĂ©e, I will advise against anyone quitting his job to jump into ministry with no plan for his sustenance. This is why some preachers rip people off and tell all sorts of lies in ministry. Having another source of income does not stop anyone from being in ministry. Many of the big pastors you see have shares in big companies, are into real estates, write and sell a lot of books to their followers, etc. Many pastors still keep their job while doing ministry work. 

The best advise for the young man is to go look for a job. The right thing is for him to quit his job only when he knows that his ministry can sustain him without him depending on anyone. A man should not think of marriage while living in his mother’s house. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and...”. 
It is surprising to even see you thinking of getting married to a man with the hope that his parents will provide for you. “He who pays the piper dictates the tune” and so if you get into this, don’t complain tomorrow when his parents are in control of your marriage and everything about it. It is never a wise decision for a man to get married while living in his parents house; there’s rarely peace for his wife. 

Tell the man to get a job First and then talk marriage. It is good to walk by faith but faith without works is dead and faith has nothing in common with laziness and foolishness.

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