Tuesday, November 27, 2018

I'm Losing my Mind: He doesn't Allow me to do Anything!

I'm 28 years and I've been married for two years now, still trying to conceive (TTC). I was working before I got married, and eight months after our wedding my husband asked me to resign and relocate cos we weren't in the same state, but before I resigned I told him I wouldn't want to be idle when I resign which he agreed. 
A month after my relocation, his mother fell sick(stroke), she couldn't stand to pee or defecate on her own. I was with her for over a month in the hospital and still continued taking care of her after she has been discharged cos she doesn't have a female child. 
My sister gave me some money to start up something for myself since he didn't keep to his promise of starting something for me after my resignation. 
The problem now is that he refused me starting anything or even going out of the house until I conceive, to worsen it all I've been taking care of myself with my savings since I resigned cos he doesn't give me money to make my hair, buy my cream or soap, even to buy #100 recharge card he never bought for me and not that he doesn't have the money, and if I ask he tell me he doesn't have. 
Two weeks before our wedding, he told me he lost the money he budgeted for the wedding in a business which he did few months before the wedding date was fixed and he never mentioned it to me. I had to borrow money and add to what I had then a total of #1.5M to get everything done and he promised to start paying after the wedding. 
It's two years now, he hasn't paid a kobo. I'm losing it now cos he doesn't give me money, he wouldn't want me to do anything for myself and I have exhausted the little I had for over one year now. 
Aunty, please I need your advice. God bless you ma

If there be anything you have, it is the power to choose your own fortune and fate. This is the sole reason why everyone cheered you on the day you signed the dotted lines of your marriage certificate. 
No matter what you go through in marriage, always remember that it was your decision that brought you into the marriage. 
You sacrificed your all because you chose to, you resigned because you chose to, and you're currently being manipulated by him because you chose to allow such. 
Your choice is too powerful that it can liberate you or consume you. 
The real question is, what are you doing with your freedom of choice? Why are you suddenly gasping for breath when you still have your nostrils working? Why are you permiting what you will ordinarily not tolerate from others in your life? 
The power of life and death is in your own choices in life. If you feel that these experiences is worth your effort, then by all means endure/enjoy them, but if you feel that you deserve better, make use of your freedom of choice. 
This is a choice between financial freedom and poverty; choice between fulfilling purpose and being a slave to a man ; choice between standing against emotional manipulation and swallowing every scum in the name of marriage. 
And like you must have realized, none comes without a consequence or price.
The summary of my counsel is simple... You have the power of choice, and the freedom to choose your own fortune/fate. 


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