How to Destroy Him

Do you want to destroy your husband? Let me show you the easiest way
- Keep reminding him that other men are better than him.You wake up every morning and all he hears is how bad a husband he is. He lost his job and because of your short memory, you have forgotten en how good it used to be. Now, the man can't even see himself rising out of the pit that you have assisted the devil to keep him in.
- Avoid Sex with him

Sex matters a lot and many husbands are dying on the inside, wishing their wives understood how much it really does matter. Due to long period of hurt from our husbands, we oftentimes allow anger to build up in our hearts thereby hindering us from enjoying sex with our man. There is still a Balm in Gilead, He will soothe every pain. You May like to read https://www.amaraofficial.com/2016/12/sexual-intimacy-in-marriage.html?m=1

- Become unrealistic with your demands

This has destroyed so many homes. Women, with their clear eyes, have brought down their homes. Iyabo's husband can afford the 350k lace and so you are not ready to accept anything less from your husband because Iyabo must not beat you to it. Ngozi’s  husband just bought her a new car and so your own husband must not sleep until he gets it for you. You are ready to sleep with anything  just to belong. Don’t intensify financial instability in your marriage by desiring things that are not realistic for your household income.

If you struggle with this, find a mature woman (not always by age) to counsel you and pray with you about getting your heart aligned with God on all things financial.

- Fake orgasm.

I know you may think that you are helping his ego by faking orgasm, but you are harboring a lie in your marriage bed.  Be sexually vulnerable with him instead and show him how to sexually please you.  Your orgasm matters. God designed it and He wants you to experience it. Stop lying to him right there on your matrimonial bed. Read https://www.amaraofficial.com/2015/08/sex-more-than-skin-on-skin.html?m=1

-  Run to your family over little disagreements

If you still do this; you are not yet an adult.If ever there was a key ingredient to marital success, it has to be this-Leave and Cleave.

I'm not saying you don't need safe confidantes when things get rocky.  You just don't need those havens to be your family.  It is almost impossible for them to give you impartial advice. Look for a good Christian woman and make her your friend. 

- Say "no" to what are reasonable sexual requests.

Obviously, if he is requesting another woman join the two of you in bed, or that you watch porn with him, or that the two of you take up "swinging" with the neighbors, or anal sex, you definitely need to say "no."  Activities like this compromise the sacredness of marital sexual intimacy. You can also take him for MFM deliverance...LOL. BUT, if he is desiring sexual variety for which you have no biblical or reasonable justification to deny, then don't be so quick to say "no." Sex in a position other than missionary position?  Oral sex? Sex on the couch?  A quickie when he comes home for lunch? Take it easy with oral sex because of cancer of the throat. 

I beg you in. God's name, don't take " sister holiness" into your bedroom; even your bishop husband wants it in variety of ways. Give it to him anyhow he wants it as long as God is not displeased. 

- Never thank him for what he contributes to the life you share.

He serves you water while you eat; gets you napkins; sometimes fixes breakfast for you; goes in for grocery shopping for you on his way home; buys you a dress in your favourite colour; helps babysit while you are out with friends, you need to be thankful. 

Let us be wives with an authentic responsibility to help our husbands be the men God has called them to be.  Let's be all about building manhood, not destroying it. Many husbands are no longer husbands because the women in their lives have turned them to babies. A good number of men have stopped being men; they are now more of broken arrows. Let us do something to help our men get back on their feet. 

Married Women and Sex

Dear Men,

It is not enough to just complain about your wife denying you sex or not showing any attraction to you during sexual intercourse. 

Inasmuch as I am against that, I want to ask you a question- Have you tried to find out the actual reason for that? 

Women are very emotional beings and from my experience in counseling, I can authoritatively tell you that a good number of women are dying in silence. Now, don’t tell me that you are the best thing to ever happen to your wife because it’s possible I have your name in my inbox from your wife and she has a lot to lament on. 

What is your relationship like? Are you one of those men who believe that the women should have no sexual feeling? Are you one of those ignorant men who believe that sex for her should be for procreation only? Are you one of those who believe that if a woman asks for some good sex styles, she’s demon-possessed or seeing another man outside? Do you believe that since she’s not giving you sex, her heart is somewhere else? You need to get out of that mindset. 

Let me tell you some of the reasons why she is withdrawn 

1. No Intimacy: If all you do is bang and release with no consideration of her own feelings and satisfaction, you will lose her with time. She’ll get to that point where she sees sex with you as nothing but hard work. At this point, she begins to have sex with you because it’s her duty as your wife and not because she enjoys it. If you have the money, take her to a serene place and have a heart to heart talk with her. I’m sure if the two of you spend some time away from your children and family, some spark will come back into your marriage (if other areas are taken care of).

2. No Love Shown: The atmosphere you want at dusk is created at dawn, is a popular saying. You cannot be slave master in the day only to turn around and become a lover-boy during sex. You cannot talk to her like a piece of wood without feelings and expect her to be a woman with feelings. The woman you will have at night is made during the day. 

3. Stress: Gone are the days when women were made to sit at home as full time housewives; even full-time housewives and moms have their plate full on daily basis. We have more women in the workforce than it used to be. Your wife goes to work just like you and she goes through the same kind of stress you go through at work. But on getting home, you cross your legs in front of television and even though you got home before her, she has to come back and serve the master without you doing anything to help ease her stress. She stays on her feet from the moment she gets home until bedtime when nature calls and her entire body is weak. How do you expect this woman to be your “Sharon  Stone” in bed? It’s impossible sir. If you love her, you will do everything you can to make things less stressful for her. Being a good cook, I feed my family well and I encourage every woman to be the main chef in her home, but real men still go to the kitchen to fix meals for their family; my dad did that for us once every week. He thought me how to make the popular Edikaikong soup. You can fix your wife dinner. Even if you don’t know how to cook, just make it fun. 

4. Criticism: What words do you put in her ears? She cannot be free with you if all you do is criticize and put her down. You can’t call her fat, ugly, local, backward, and the likes all day and then turn around to savor her body at night. She’s troubled by your negative words to her and until you fix that, nothing will change sexually.

5. Some women lose interest in sex as a result of childbirth. She can’t really control it. Encourage her to eat more of foods that will help her sex life. Others have ears to those old-wives-tale about sex being demonic, bla-bla-bla, and so they go into marriage with that mindset, afraid of sex. Counseling and therapy will help as well. 

I am Lonely in my Marriage:No Affection, No Attention!

Good morning everyone, please I will like you guys to advice me like you would advice your own sister...

I and my husband are from Nigeria but we reside in South Africa.. We dated for few months before he came to Nigeria to marry me and made papers for me to join him in S.A..

We live in a 2-bedroom apartment here but we only occupied one because one of my husband's friend that is a divorcee stays in the other room, they pay the house rent together. 

I have two kids already, I have told my husband to look for another apartment at least so that we can have our privacy as husband and wife, he refused saying he doesn't have money..