Tuesday, July 4, 2017

She Treats Me Like an Option!

I've been dating this girl for one year. We are both from Igbo states, and we loved each other. From on set I made my intentions to marry her which didn't change even as we had issues and I'm yet to engaged her (waiting for her to set the platform right), I've taken her to my family.
Aunty Amara, I believe it's the duty of a man to woo a woman until he gets her and continue showing her love which I did after which the woman has to do her work to prove to the man that she is with him one hundred percent, and she can take care of him, at least to an extent. That's about what I was waiting for to engage her. No one looks for a perfect woman these days cos they don't exist anywhere.
But she's the kind of girl that believes she's beautiful and doesn't have to do anything to prove her worth to a any man, that she did all those things in her previous relationship which didn't work. She knows how to treat someone like an option and at the same time expect you to move the relationship to another level.
My demands were simple, take care of me, have a value in my life besides romance, make a routine for (monthly, quarterly etc) things you can do to help the relationship domestically. Just take a place in my life that I will be moved to do things faster than I projected. Stand firm with me so I strongly believe that I can give up anything for you without regrets. 
Lately, she created a drought in the relationship which I noticed. I traveled for a while and the communication was one sided, and I wasn't happy about it which I reacted to. When I later tried to reconcile and get her back, she said she's not dating me again which she has threatened like three times since the relationship started, and I was on guard this time waiting for her.
I ended it as she wanted but I'm still hurt and went back to apologize which usually happens, and she's comparing me with some guys with telemundo kind of love that's not bordering her.
I don't think anyone would easily be moved when treated like an option.  We just ended.  Kindly advise and ask questions.

Both of you have issues to deal with. She's too proud of herself or should I say that her beauty or experience brought out the strict part of her personality. 
You on the other hand is too rigid and regimented that if she farts, you will change your rules and regulations for the relationship. 
That's not how love and loving ought to be. I mean it's meant to be effortless, natural, fun, happy, and still be purposeful. There is no need for showing or proving love, these things happen naturally without you even dictating them. 
If you have to wait for her to prove it, she will most definitely disappoint you, because love doesn't grow where there is law/force. 
I will suggest that you take things a little be more relaxed and calmer, learn to give room for your partner to be human and not perfect. This will help you avoid getting married to a fake individual who can do everything to impress you, but doesn't have what you need in your wife.
As for her, give her some space and allow her to decide if you are the kind of man she wants. Refrain from begging or accepting rubbish in the name of love, because she will treat you in such a manner after wedding. 
If she is not contented with you or respectful to you or teachable, please move on with your life. No matter how beautiful a lady is, her attitude is what matters most, so don't make your decision based on her outlook, but let it be based on her virtues, values, and vision in life.

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