Madam and Maid

 You needed a maid and instead of hiring an adult who needs that as a paid job, you settled for a helpless girl from that rural community. Her parents were excited to see their precious daughter leave the wretched place she has always known. Little did they know that they were sending her away into modern day slavery. 

What about the naive poor girl? She cannot wait to get to the city and live her dream life. Does she know its going to be hell? Obviously not. Well, madam thinks that the hell she is walking into is still better than the heaven she has been in. The mansion is beautiful and air-conditioned. She gets to sleep with electricity and some cool air. 

Upon getting home, she is made to feel loved and wanted. She went to bed happy and optimistic of the many beautiful things to come. It all ends the next morning. Now, the poor girl has to eat only leftover food. Madam has different pots and plates for her children. Their food is cooked with good meat and condiments while the girl eats whatever she sees. She is made to work from morning till her bed time which is often very late at night. If she is privileged to be sent to a public school nearby, she must never engage in anything extracurricular. Where is the time? She barely has time for school homework. 

Does she have an option? No; her widowed mom cannot even afford the crumbs you give her and so she has to be grateful. Even though she is twelve, she does “oga’s’ laundry, plus madam’s underwear. She has to walk to the market. The better heaven she envisioned has suddenly become her hell. 

Your children steal from you and no, it must be the help who is from a poor background. She is beaten, starved, and denied education. She becomes the hot topic whenever madam gathers with her evil friends who encourage her to do worse. 

Your children who are older than or same age as the poor girl are in school, but her portion in life is to wake up and make sure that your children’s school clothes are ironed and table is set for breakfast after which she cleans up. You are actually destroying your own children. They will end up depending on you all through life; no parent prays fo such. 

In church, madam is the chief deaconess, possibly pastor’s wife. She is known for lifting holy hands and speaking the best mechanical tongue. She is an epitome of a godly woman; in church only. It’s Sunday morning and her children are all dressed up and beautiful. The poor little girl babysitting them is wearing a rag. Her hair is an eyesore. Madam is also gorgeously dressed in her designer wears. All eyes have to be on her. You did it! All eyes were on you! 

Hear this: Your righteousness is no different than those of the Pharisees. You are nothing but a “painted sepulcher”. The heart of God bleeds because of you. You are yet to know and truly experience the love of Christ which is the only thing that can change you. 

All of a sudden, your husband is all over the girl. She is daily abused by the beast you are married to. Her only offense is that she is helpless in your home. She cannot even reach her parents. Madam’s anger in unleashed on an innocent soul that is crying for help. Ma’am, she is not your problem. Your reckless and useless husband is. Talk to him to change his ways. There are maids who wear very skimpy things around the house and there is no problem in the home because the man is highly principled. Stop torturing the girl. Stop making her wear rags with her hair completely shaved off. Your husband lacks self-control; that is the problem. The screws in his head need some tightening. Stop terrorizing the poor maid.

I know your own children were in the womb for 40 weeks unlike the helpless girl who fell from a tree, but I want you to remember the words of Dame Patience Goodluck, “...there is Godoooo. He is watching and you will someday eat the fruits of your wickedness. 

Have a change of mind. Take good care of the poor girl or better still send her back to her parents and go hire an adult who should be paid. Outward righteousness is nothing before God. You cannot treat the poor unfairly and claim to be a child of God. 

Love: What Really Do You Mean?

Many have lost their God-given chance because of this word, love. Many have missed angels sent into their lives just because they allowed themselves to be carried away by the endless profession of this word, love. I have seen men lose wonderful women because to them, they are not all over them, kissing and cuddling along the road. So many women have lost very homely and good men because they didn't look like what they read in romance books. Women especially, get lured into believing that those fantasies they read about in fairy tale books and see in movies are real.


 Nobody cares to ask and think about the future; nobody cares to know what that person would be as a spouse and parent. Things have really gone haywire in this generation and that is why you find some preachers even use the word, "for better for better, in health and prosperity..."; they do this making their blind followers to believe that it's faith. Hear this Mr/Ms. Preacher; making a profession of faith is different from taking a vow and that is called "exchange of marital vows'.


It's unfortunate that women have lost their place in humanity; it's sad to see how far we've gone to trample on the pride of womanhood. But one thing is clear; real women still exist and they are holding on, firmly, to the ancient landmarks. Now, women are even encouraged to go out there, find, and propose to a man; what a shame. And some stupidly believe its civilization. When a man is ready to find, he goes all out for it.


Once a man sees you and likes what he sees, he begins to think of two things-take her home to mama or sleep with her and move on. And I keep telling women, no matter how much you think you love his six-packs and pocket; no matter your level of desperation for marriage, you are safer when a man loves you more than you do because your love as a woman grows more in marriage while his either remains stagnant or diminishes.


My dear brothers, for a woman, it's GiGo. She wants to see the love you profess put to practice in marriage. She wants to be assured that truly, she's one with you. She wants to know that it is 'our home' and not 'his home' where she's locked out over every misunderstanding. She wants to know that you would defend her even when your family finds it strange. She wants to see a man who would pamper as she cooks his favourite meal instead of shouting at her for food and sex. Did I say shout at her for sex? Yes, some men do that. Her entire being will naturally yield to you when you love her the right way.


You may think you are loving her; are you loving her the way she wants to be loved? Some male clients tell me how much they've done for the wife and how she doesn't appreciate it. Even along the road, we hear men talk about women being ungrateful, leaving them after they trained her in school and setting up a good business for her.


Now my question: Did you assist her in school just because you want to marry her? Then you never loved her. You got her admission and insisted on her studying a course of your choice, not what she likes; don't you think you are selfish? And what makes you think she wouldn't have gone to school if you hadn't married her? She probably would have a PhD. Talk about business; what if she wanted a white collar job in her field of study? The business you opened for her, is that what she wants? Are you sure she's not doing it just to please you? Friendship is important here.


Don't try to love her the way your ex girlfriend liked to be loved. Study her person and discover what does it for her. Don't just take her out, ask her where she wants to go. Don't just make plans for the two of you without putting her into consideration and seeking her opinion.


Study and understand your woman. We are not difficult; we are not that complex, but only a few men understand us; only a few men have the right key to our head and heart, to these men, women are very easy to handle. Every woman has some level of insanity, it only takes a man with the right key to keep her under control without bruising her.

May you find the grace to be this man.

Single or Married?

People now go into marriage with the mindset that it will end someday. You now hear men and women advise friends/relatives to protect and watch their back. Married couples are now encouraged to lie to each other all for material things.

Men are advised not to have the wife's name in business and financial documents. Women are told never to let their husbands name go into anything they own. They are advised to lie and possibly steal from the man for security. Some men would rather have their brother's name on their business and property instead of their wife's. What I have always seen happen to such men at death is that their labor all go in vain. The brother, instead of giving the business and money to his brother's wife and children uses it for his own wife and children. Don't think they love you; they can't love you more than your spouse and children. The love ends the very day you go down the grave.

Some will even volunteer to help her save the stolen money. The most painful part of this is seeing parents encourage their married daughters to steal from their husband. What a shame! A friend's marriage ended the very day he got to the in-laws only to find all the designer wears missing from his wardrobe. It happened that the wife who was secretly building in her father's house was also stealing his things and sending to her brother. Well, today she's back to her father's house and no money to steal again. The building is still unfinished and the same mother and siblings who encouraged her to do all that now heap daily insults on her. No money, no friend.

Some women, instead of building with their husband, go to the father's house to build in their brothers' name. I know a woman whose husband and children are miserable but she sends everything to her brothers. I know another whose husband had a bank case, he was locked up when he told his wife to sell his property and use the money to pay the bank. His property was sold only for the woman to send the money to her sister's husband who wanted to make some profits from it while the husband suffered in jail. Well, the guy somehow found his way out and that was the end of the marriage.

You bought the land in your brother's name, built in his name, and collects rent in his name. Don't worry, just wait until the day you are sent packing by the man; that's the day you will know that you don't own the property. Be wise.

I am worried. Is it really worth it? Are you really married? Are you sure yours is not a case of two good actors cohabiting? Do you know the meaning of love? What happens to children raised in such an environment where you both play the game of deceit? How do you close your eyes at night beside someone you don't trust? Why eat from a woman you don't trust?

I believe in being truly one with my spouse.
You have no reason, no good reason to lose your peace all for material things. Why tell him or her "I love you" when it's obvious that yours is just a game of deceit? Why get married hoping that it will come to an end someday? Even if it comes to an end someday, you shouldn't go into marriage with a negative mindset.

And you Mr. Husband, help your wife not to become a thief overnight. It is your duty to protect, cherish, and nurture the woman you call wife. You are a failure if you cannot nurture that woman. But madam, no material thing is worth your soul. If you are married to a selfish Aradite, please find something to do to earn money. But if you find yourself with a selfish Aradite who also won't let you work, I don't know what to say, only God will see you through.

We need to save future generations. We need to go back to God's principles of marriage. We need to stop fighting so hard and playing this game of deceit just for material things. Marriage is not a contract; marriage is a divine covenant.
Yes, you are married before the world; are you married before God?

I'm Scared Of Becoming A Full-time Housewife.

Greetings Amara, more grace to you.
I got to know this page through a friend and I'm actually writing from her account. I'll start by saying that my husband is a very good man and God fearing too, always making me feel loved, in fact he makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world even after five years.