How do I unload these Garbage in my Life?

Good evening Aunty Amara, how are you doing and how is your family? 

I will be needing advice on some cases because I don't want to go into new year with some stuffs

1. When my husband and I was dating, he would bath three to five times a day during summer, while winter is two times a day, now he bath only two times in a week.

2. He was the most gentle and calmest person I have been with, truthful, faithful and kind to everyone but now he has become an aggressive, rude liar, when given cash to do something he would not do it but use the money and when asked, he will start yelling. 

Love: What Really Do You Mean?

Many have lost their God-given chance because of this word, love. Many have missed angels sent into their lives just because they allowed themselves to be carried away by the endless profession of this word, love. I have seen men lose wonderful women because to them, they are not all over them, kissing and cuddling along the road. So many women have lost very homely and good men because they didn't look like what they read in romance books. Women especially, get lured into believing that those fantasies they read about in fairy tale books and see in movies are real.


 Nobody cares to ask and think about the future; nobody cares to know what that person would be as a spouse and parent. Things have really gone haywire in this generation and that is why you find some preachers even use the word, "for better for better, in health and prosperity..."; they do this making their blind followers to believe that it's faith. Hear this Mr/Ms. Preacher; making a profession of faith is different from taking a vow and that is called "exchange of marital vows'.


It's unfortunate that women have lost their place in humanity; it's sad to see how far we've gone to trample on the pride of womanhood. But one thing is clear; real women still exist and they are holding on, firmly, to the ancient landmarks. Now, women are even encouraged to go out there, find, and propose to a man; what a shame. And some stupidly believe its civilization. When a man is ready to find, he goes all out for it.


Once a man sees you and likes what he sees, he begins to think of two things-take her home to mama or sleep with her and move on. And I keep telling women, no matter how much you think you love his six-packs and pocket; no matter your level of desperation for marriage, you are safer when a man loves you more than you do because your love as a woman grows more in marriage while his either remains stagnant or diminishes.


My dear brothers, for a woman, it's GiGo. She wants to see the love you profess put to practice in marriage. She wants to be assured that truly, she's one with you. She wants to know that it is 'our home' and not 'his home' where she's locked out over every misunderstanding. She wants to know that you would defend her even when your family finds it strange. She wants to see a man who would pamper as she cooks his favourite meal instead of shouting at her for food and sex. Did I say shout at her for sex? Yes, some men do that. Her entire being will naturally yield to you when you love her the right way.


You may think you are loving her; are you loving her the way she wants to be loved? Some male clients tell me how much they've done for the wife and how she doesn't appreciate it. Even along the road, we hear men talk about women being ungrateful, leaving them after they trained her in school and setting up a good business for her.


Now my question: Did you assist her in school just because you want to marry her? Then you never loved her. You got her admission and insisted on her studying a course of your choice, not what she likes; don't you think you are selfish? And what makes you think she wouldn't have gone to school if you hadn't married her? She probably would have a PhD. Talk about business; what if she wanted a white collar job in her field of study? The business you opened for her, is that what she wants? Are you sure she's not doing it just to please you? Friendship is important here.


Don't try to love her the way your ex girlfriend liked to be loved. Study her person and discover what does it for her. Don't just take her out, ask her where she wants to go. Don't just make plans for the two of you without putting her into consideration and seeking her opinion.


Study and understand your woman. We are not difficult; we are not that complex, but only a few men understand us; only a few men have the right key to our head and heart, to these men, women are very easy to handle. Every woman has some level of insanity, it only takes a man with the right key to keep her under control without bruising her.

May you find the grace to be this man.

Abusive Men: Blame Mothers Too

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
Sure you know who rocks the cradle-mothers. Men are not good, they are wife beaters, lazy bones, wayward, bla-bla-bla. Who raised those men? I don't know about you but I see it more as failure on our part as mothers. We are in for the worse if we don't turn and do things right. You are married, you have children, but you can sacrifice your children for career and money. The most important thing in your life is your fame and career and this has made you to sacrifice your children on the altar of money and power.
A girl, fifteen years old, once told me how much she hates her mother who is a top banker. When I tried to change that mindset by making her to see that mummy is working for her comfort, she turned around and said, "I wish I have a mother like you". Then she said, "I don't care about her money, I want her time". Mothers, please take it easy. Often times it appears ours is not just about making money for the comfort of our family, it looks more like competition with the men. This is one spirit that is destroying this generation and destroying homes. Women are in competition with their spouse. You know within that you are not working just because your family has to be okay; you are working in excess because you are in competition with your husband and friends. Work hard, give your best to your career, but never do that at the expense of your home.
Build your career, make your money, be relevant in the society...I do all that. But please, don't do anything in this life at the expense of family. Soon, the bones shall become brittle, the supple skin frail, the bright eyes will go dim, the smooth face shall wrinkle, the job you so worked for will abandon you for a fresher blood, your high flying boyfriend and colleague will abandon you for a younger blood, the only people who will stick with you are your spouse and children. Make them happy now; give them your time now because you will be the one asking for their time soon. My children and my spouse are my greatest assets and I make sure I invest time in raising them because when all is gone, they are the ones that will make me die a happy and fulfilled woman.
Live a balanced life. My prayer has always been
Proverbs 30:7-9
O God, I beg two favors from you;
let me have them before I die.
First, help me never to tell a lie.
Second, give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.

Greed has never and will never produce anything good. This whole power tussle with the men is destroying our children. Build your career but build wisely. In the workplace, shout and fight for gender equality (I support that, there must be equality in the market place), be a leader and control things, but please, drop it outside your gate before entering your matrimonial home. When you build just your career, the only thing you can offer your children is money after which they become damaged for life.
Wisdom is the principal thing, in all your getting, get wisdom.

I Feel Hopeless...Confused!

God bless you richly Ma for all your good works so far.
Please,I beg you and your fans to bear with me because its a very long write up.
By God's grace I'm a 25yrs old beautiful lady who got married as a virgin last year and relocated from Europe to go live with hubby in USA,been here for like ten months now and we are expecting our first baby soon,all glory to God. 
Every man and woman's dream,isn't it?? 
Yet I often found myself in pains and tears.I and my hubby both loved each other he made a lot of sacrifices just to get married to me,he has been the best thing that's ever happened to me,until I got to United States and started living with him.
I have always believed that immediately I got here I was going back to school and also start working because I refused to be the lazy type that always depend on someone for everything.
He never disclosed or discussed it with me all these while,it was only when I got here to my greatest surprise I found out that the area we were living,there's no other means of transportation except having your personal car... Bus stop from our house is like two hours by foot. 
I have been having challenges with my green card since I got here so I haven't been able to do absolutely anything like schooling or working,have been home all these months all alone(with my unborn baby),I only go out during hubby's off days.
It's amazing how his attitude changed drastically towards me,he takes me a lot for granted,talks to me without respect just because he knows he's the only breadwinner of the house for now.
Ma,I never saw all these coming at all! By God's grace,I'm a very